even my farts smell like vagina
If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
I can’t shake the image of her gigantic black unibrow. It’s like I got a blowie from Eugene Levy
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