So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
Alcohol only hurts me because he loves me.
For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
I just talked to a CEO of a fortune 500 company while pooping. I LOVE being self employed.
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
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