Apparently oprah and I were in competition to see who's ass could get bigger this summer
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
Halloween night fail: My boob sweat from keeping my phone in my bra caused the front screen to stop working from water damage.
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
He’s only in town today and our afternoon sex sesh kept getting interrupted by the neighbor’s kid yelling and screaming in the pool
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