Midget sex pt 2 tonight
i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
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Sorry I didn't pick up for your booty call. I usually am asleep at 4:00 on Thursdays. Like a normal person.
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
I'm literally in my bed still trying to find the energy to take my corset off so I can binge eat oreos
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
Alan said you can come over and eat me out anytime you want, as long as we give him enough notice to hide in the closet before we arrive
Did you finish that presentation yet?
No but don’t worry about it. I do my best work in the middle of the night. I’m like a hamster.
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