I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
After you finished the $300 bottle of wine you just started crying about how if Mulder and Scully didn't invite you to join the x-files your life would be meaningless because you "love that weird shit"
Just don’t be like me and break up between Christmas and NYE and then get blackout on NYE and puke in your undies.
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
Now I am free. And I want to go meet men. My phone deleted all my contacts, and I consider this to be a new beginning. With a new man in my phone book.
Randomize
