If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
This concert is like a reunion of all my bad sex.
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
Seriously? You DON'T remember putting all those Swedish fish in the waffle iron b/c you wanted "One big Swedish fish?" That waffle iron was a wedding gift.
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
Randomize
