If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
This was baby jesus's way of getting you to wait until the next bikini wax
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
I woke up in the bathtub with money shoved down my pants. I must've done something right.
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
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