i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
Hey can you send me a copy of my mugshot? I need it to prove a point
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
He just pulled a Spanish chick using google translate!!!! We are at the bar and she speaks zero English. Hes a fucking magician!!!!!!
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
Randomize
