dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
I'm actually on the verge of cancelling a booty call because I have an early meeting tomorrow. If this is what adulthood is going to be like, I'll pass.
Randomize
