We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
Woke up and went out for a cigarette and it was dead quiet. It was like the world just knew how many mistakes were made last night.
This is the prime rib incident all over again
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
You don't take my phone while I'm passed out, have a three hour conversation on it with Dealer Dave, set up a date with him and NOT TELL HIM THAT HE'S NOT TALKING TO ME.
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
Well, that was my first dog walk of shame. Nothing says "I've got my life together" like an inside out shirt and a baggie full of dog shit.
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
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