worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
I had to assert my dominance as Alpha Drunk.
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
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