i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
I told my new friends about my possible new chin. They said I should get my nose done first. Please tell me I'm pretty or something.
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
Apparently I'm not allowed to call at 3am anymore and ask to speak to all his siblings. I was just trying to get to know the family
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
The ass gains better be worth it
Randomize
