I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
Nothing says happy baby shower like showing up still kinda drunk from last night with an open tall boy in one hand and fries in the other.
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
I don't save the phone numbers of guys I don't like. That way it's a surprise when a random number texts me and tells me I have great tits.
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
If I die on my walk home, please come claim the body. There is $30 in my left shoe for you....for pizza
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
Randomize
