No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
my mom went out and bought me new sheets and redecorated my room. its like she's more excited for me to get laid tomorrow for the first time in two months than I am.
Wingman of the year award. I made out with her gay roommate in order for you to get laid. Better have been good.
The gay roommate was probably better than her. Consider yourself lucky.
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
Last night when we were having sex he put the condom on backwards the first time. While he was putting the second one on I blew up the first one, made it into a balloon and hit him in the head with it. I think we're over the honeymoon stage.
Randomize
