No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
Are we still banned from the library?
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
I was gonna be Romantic and write your name in emoji eggplants but A's are hard
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
No clue what you did last night, sorry. You did hand me a pizza and a mason jar with $1200 in small bills in it when I let you in though.
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