Just remembered I told my boss that matt used to make me toss his salad like every time we hooked up. Nice
so i was sitting on this guys lap, and we were flirting and everything right..well his phone kept ringing, turns out it was his pregnant wife...she had gone into labor..
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
Randomize
