I wanna throw up and cum in that order
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
So my parents just watched me pour their rum into a bottle and only add crystal light powder, no water... Talk about being judged. All I could say was "Cortland tricks?"
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
Remember those neighbors I thought were FBI agents? Turns out they're DEA.
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
Randomize
