Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
It's like "hey I give your roommate blowjobs twice a week, want to connect on LinkedIn?"
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
Randomize
