i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
You're the end to all my bad dreams.
Did you have that reoccuring dream about me banging your mom again?
Well yesterday i made out with the entire football team and rifht at this very moment our waiter looks like a ken doll. Straight up. And he gave me wine so ill probly make out with him
college has opened so many doors for you
I resisted the temptation to hold the cake in one hand to alternate bites with the ruffles I was eating. I decided that might make me look dysfunctional.
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
Just woke up next to a girl with 30 hot dogs in my bed. Vodka you win again.
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
Blow job season was short but glorious.
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
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