now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
you're single. I'm single. let's spend vday with the 3 most important men in our lives: ben, jerry, and josé
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
Drunk Sam makes promises that Sober Sam can't keep
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
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