My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
I need hand sanitizer and jesus.
Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
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