What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
you spent the rest of the night making a recipe for mixed drink called "the new years bowel remover". it has 13 parts but judging from the bold all caps, the boiled avocado is the most important
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
Watching her eat just hurts me
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
Dude there is a stripper at my door saying she has my birthday present. She knows my name...but it's not my birthday...
God works in mysterious ways my friend.
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
DONT YOU DARE YELL AT ME. YOU'RE THE ONE WHO TRIED TO PAY FOR THE CAB WITH YOUR PANERA REWARDS CARD.
How do I stop your cat from bathing me? I'm afraid she'll get drunk off my sweat
Randomize
