Most awkward sex ever...
And im texting you in the middle.
a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
Randomize
