I am drunk raised to the nth degree. The possibility of getting sick is approaching infinity.
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
