I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
How is there no taco emoji?! That's some bullshit.
I've counted four places at work I need to get laid in. Come help me accomplish this.
Hey, I'm your guy
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
like, there were so many other better not terrible choices you could have made, so i'm honestly baffled that you managed to fuck up that bad
Randomize
