we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
I just messaged a senior at Harvard and told him to 'tinder me softly'
People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
I don't want my vagina anymore.
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
Randomize
