Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
Hey guess what I got for Valentine's day? Debt and blue balls.
Best friends brother. Beat that.
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
Was I wearing clothes when I handed you your keys. Please tell me I was wearing clothes.
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
Seriously, I woke you up with tacos, I think I deserve the best girlfriend ever award
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
So it's my mom's birthday and I wanted to be super cheap and just walk up to her and say "I got you the greatest gift ever, mom! I'm actually sober right now!".
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
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