WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
Everything was going good until she wanted to update her status...You forgot to close pterodactyl porn from this morning. Clothes went back on.
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I told him I don't date guys unless they play a musical instrument. So, he's here and he brought a kazoo.
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
Just stepped off the plane in St. Louis. I'm breaking out in hives, I'm allergic to Midwesterners. Can't WAIT to get the fuck out of here.
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
Randomize