But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
Having sex with my girlfriend wearing my old Tom Brady jersey on the day he's freed is the closest I'll come to a 3way with Tom
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
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