The guy dancing on me has three visible teeth. WHERE ARE YOU?
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him
If the cops knock on your door and ask if you saw anyone throw an orange out the window I was never there.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
Randomize