we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
The following message is brought to you by IMSOFUCKINGSORRY. Dude I'm really sorry I got you arrested last night. You are allowed to choose a repayment plan from the following options: Money, weed, or a single kick to the balls any time within the next calender months. Repayment outside of the aforementioned options can be negotiated and considered within reason.
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
Yeah, oh and the story gets better. His friend was dressed as a christmas tree wrapped in twinkle lights and had to plug himself in the wall all night.
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
Randomize
