The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
omg i hate the new neighbors. why cant a bitch just be hungover in peace on a wednesday morning.
Im just a social blackout drinker.
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
I was doing drugs in the men's room so my employee went in to the woman's for the same reason but left proof and got caught. Had to fire him cuz I bogarted his dope spot. Awesome.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
My little brother found me on Instagram. If I'm not already the shame of my family, I'm about to be.
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
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