I faked an abortion last night.
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
No one would take shots with Caroline so she asked the bartender for like 20 jagerbombs and then shouted "JAGERBOMBS FOR HOMELESS ANIMALS BENEFIT" and everyone started doing them with her
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
Randomize
