Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
The cop asked you after the breathalyzer what you think you blew and you very discreetly shouted "I'm pretty sure i blew Kyle on the way here "
Can I borrow you for, like, thirty minutes so you can lay on one boob and rub the other until I fall asleep?
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
My autobiography will be 500 pages of the words "I probably should've thought this through" typed over and over.
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
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