His text read: Sex? I replied: Not drunk enough. He bought 4 more rounds and tantalized me with the offer pizza later. This could be the beginning of a beautiful relationship.
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
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