i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
Just saw two guys having a lawn mower race, and their girlfriends cheering them on. Get me out of Tehachapi,
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
you win again, gameday.
just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
Randomize
