My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
He told me he was 'pondering the natural wonder that is my ass'
Like, dude. I'm already fucking you, you don't need to wax poetic.
Isn't he wasted enough that he might actually mean it and not just be trying to get you to fuck him without a condom?
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
at this point every shot is just a haymaker to my liver
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
Randomize
