He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
I think mom knows I'm drunk I put a full blown balloon in the fridge.
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
When you're as high as I am right now brushing your teeth is both magical and fucking terrifying
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
Randomize
