Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
You're a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
Randomize
