Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
Apparently I was pointing at birds and yelling "YOU USED TO BE A DINOSAUR!!!"
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
I snuck in through the doggy door to get his vodka. Do you think my ex will know?
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
Dude. That's like masturbating until the point that you're going to climax, then stopping, waiting for a few seconds and then starting all over. While that does lead to an altogether more powerful orgasm, it's still annoying as hell until you get there.
I was not expecting that analogy.
No one ever expects that analogy.
That moment when you’re at the doctor to give a sperm sample you’re only getting 3G so the porn is buffering
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