I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
I feel like I have African malaria. I just remembered singing Teenage Dream in full to that biker couple at the bar.
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
I'm just gonna pretend you didn't ask me that. I'll sweep that shattered moment of our friendship under the shame rug.
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
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