The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
Just googled "penis wearing a hat" i think it's safe to say nobody found my ex's lost phone...
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
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