Mmmm, vodka for breakfast
before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
last night a police horse bit me when i was wasted. even the animal kingdom knows i'm no good
my taxi driver is listening to 50 shades of grey audiobook. this is uncomfortable.
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
Randomize
