I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
Oh my god he is having a sentimental moment right now.
He just sent me like a really heartfelt confession of love in which he ended with "make the apt, I'll hold your hand while you get your clit pierced."
I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
I think I ruined Robin and Mikes anniversary. I walked in on them fucking, accidentally broke the necklace he gave her, and I stole the keg from their party. Not in that order
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
i've created a new STD.
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
I don't need my coworkers thinking I'm a nutcase.
You gift wrapped a tampon.
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
Randomize
