No seriously, I have to sell the house because my wife found out I'm gay.
feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
Randomize
