Are we in a gay sports bar?
The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
Woke up backwards on a recliner
Started the 4th with a foursome. I don't know if it gets more festive than that. #MERICA
Update: just imagined being dirty talked to in an Irish brogue and I think my vagina became a sentient being.
Well, after a pitcher of beer, I set my ex on fire. It was a little fire, he's fine. How's your night?
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
Randomize
