Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
Just drunk tweeted NASA asking them to give me a lift home in one of their spaceships. Fingers crossed
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
I had such a pleasant walk of shame. The sun was shining, I smiled at all the high school suckers who judged me on their way to school, and I made friends with an old guy and his dog.
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
I found them. Thank God. Now I'm gonna have to take a Xanax for the panic attack I almost had trying to find my Xanax.
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
How the hell do you misplace a bag of tacos in a closet?
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
She's like a cask of Amontillado. Very tempting if I was drunk, but sober, I know I'll get fucked over in the end.
Randomize
