a queef is a wish your heart makes.
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
So what's the protocol on sending your exes new wife a baby shower gift that says "thanks for getting him the hell out of my life, please keep him there!"?
Randomize
