Did I tell you he has dinosaur sheets?
Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
These 25 Drunks Should’ve Gotten Cut Off A Long Time Ago
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
I just made bacon chili cheese fries for dinner...someday my kids are going to realize I'm a stoner & this will all make sense
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
27 Freshmen Who Really Didn’t Know What They Were Getting In To
Puking on the side of the road and legitimately just got a head nod and thumbs up from an 80 year old man on a Segway... What the fuck?
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?