If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
Pretty sure I just slept with Elmo.
i just saw a man pushing two thirtys of beers in a stroller while his little kid ran to keep up. father of the year
Walk-of-shaming home from Brooklyn in a Jesus costume that has "what wouldn't Jesus do" written on the robe.
ttyl tear gas
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
I had to rub one out before the Shabbat dinner in case I find a nice Jewish girl to fuck me in the bathroom.
Your mother would be so proud
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
Randomize
