....ANDDD I just became confused during sexting and sent my mother a text describing a "porno-worthy cum shot."
yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
The one night I bring a girl home you leave the footloose soundtrack playing.
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
Too bad, iambic pentameter is a drunk specialty of mine.
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
1st date with cop went weird. He yelled at me & we had a horrible date. Walking to the car I tripped & started bleeding & then he made out with me. Is it wrong that I want to see him again?
THIS IS WHY YOU NEED THERAPY!
Randomize