Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
My cat was watching porn with me. Weirdest bonding experience ever.
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
Ever get that feeling that you're the back up booty call and half way through securing the fake date excuse to try to get in your pants, the guy hears back from the original booty call and drops the conversation with no explanation?
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Randomize
