Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. who knew mine was hiding in utah successfully balancing a pageant career and a coke habit.
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
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