The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
I just realized I use Twitter to keep of track of when I get drunk.
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
You're finding a boat, I'm going to sleep with a guy that lives above a bar and has 24 hour access. We are really nailing this adulting thing
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
i told him the only way i'd fuck him was if he saved me during the zombie apocolypse and took me to a tastefully decorated yet impenetrable hideout.
Randomize
