What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
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