I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
Woke up with puke in my bed and my pockets full of Tootsie Rolls.
Jealous.
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
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